ADHD, From the Inside Out

ADHD ADHD — FROM THE INSIDE OUT By Sheila Alves Rodrigues I am a psychotherapist with 14 years of experience. I have supported hundreds of families navigating neurodivergence. I have studied it, trained in it. I also have ADHD. And I didn’t know until my forties. When I found out, it wasn’t devastating — it was relief. The kind that makes you realise nothing was ever wrong with you. You were simply never being understood in the right way. ADHD is a neurological difference. The brain doesn’t choose to focus — it needs stimulation, urgency, or novelty to activate. Without that, it drifts. Not from laziness. Because the system works differently. And yet that very brain can hyperfocus for hours, create, solve, and feel in ways that are often exceptional. ADHD is not laziness. Not bad parenting. Not something children grow out of. And it is not just boys. Girls learn to mask — to appear as though they are coping — and then unravel in the safety of home. What looks like anxiety is often something deeper, unrecognised. The ADHD brain also experiences emotion intensely. Joy is bigger. Rejection lands harder. A passing comment can feel overwhelming — not because the person is dramatic, but because their nervous system processes emotional information differently. This is why constant correction doesn’t work. What does work is connection before correction. Understanding before instruction. For parents: ask “what makes this easier?” not “why won’t they try harder?” For teachers: distraction is not disrespect — it’s disconnection. For adults who recognise themselves here: nothing is wrong with you. The children labelled difficult or distracted are often the ones who feel the most, imagine the most, and see the world differently. They don’t need fixing. They need to be understood. Sheila Alves Rodrigues is a psychotherapist, business coach, author and speaker working with adults, children and families across Portugal and the United Kingdom. www.mindrightherapy.com +351 922 004 245